OK, I just have to say i'm fucking-well pissed off today. I've been fairly good this week, and dinner on Friday night was taken with better options than I could have had. I know I (still) haven't exercised but my points this week have been good, i've increased my water intake to where it should be and i've kept to only one can of diet soft drink per day and i've hardly drank any alcohol for the last 5 weeks. I certainly ate better this week than the couple of weeks before that when I was giving myself the "i've given up smoking I can reward myself with food for a little while" speel.
So how is it that today when I got on the scales i'm fucking-well heavier than I was at the beginning of the year?????????????? What the fuck am I doing wrong???????????????
Feel free to use one of the following example comments in reply to this post, i've heard them all before, and I leave them for others too (no, i'm not being ungrateful - i'm just really pissed off today).
- hang in there - if you're doing the right thing you will show a loss eventually
- maybe it's fluid build up - i'm sure it will be gone by tomorrow
- don't be too hard on yourself - work is stressing you out and you need to give yourself a break
- are you getting your period (this especially pisses me off when DH asks this if i'm nagging him!!!!)
- hey you're a mother who works full-time, take it easy - you'll get there eventually
- look how far you've come, you're doing well, one day at a time
- insert your own version here...... or ..... you know - (cough cough) ahem ---- in the comments section!!!
Here are some points I would like to make to myself - and maybe i'll just ponder on these for a while and decide where I want to go.
- Yes i'm stressed but how many more excuses am I going to make when really i'm just a fat lazy slob who can't be bothered getting of my arse.
- Yes i'm tired but how many more excuses am I going to make when really i'm just a fat lazy slob who can't be bothered getting of my arse.
- Yes i'm overworked but how many more excuses am I going to make when really i'm just a fat lazy slob who can't be bothered getting of my arse.
I really need to work out whether I want this or not and take action. OK if I don't really want to lose weight why do I go to so much trouble 'pretending' that I am. I yo-yo up and down between 74 and 78 kilos but I don't ever go further than that. Well, there was that one time I got under 74 and then shit myself and put weight back on.
It's like I have some stone barrier at 75 kilos and I rarely get through it, and when I do I get scared and go back up the scales again.
What am I afraid of?
Do I want this enough?
What's stopping me?
..... and why the fuck haven't I stopped eating since I saw the big number on the scales this morning, shouldn't it have had the opposite effect and made me want to starve myself?
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
Edit: I've been reading Craig Harper's blog for a little while. He makes a lot of sense, plus he's pretty funny. Ijust went and had a read of some of his posts today after feeling so bad. I just ordered his book "Fattitude" and a couple of his other books about Food and Exercise. Hopefully reading them might spark me back into action. He seems to have such a realistic view to weight loss and life in general. I'll keep you posted.
17 comments:
I know I am bordering on being evangelical about this at the moment, but have you tried to deal with the head stuff? Not just acnowledge the surface stuff, but look into what's really behind it. Try talking to a good friend openly, but rather than go outward to how this affects you externally, turn it inward and work out what's under it all.
And don't forget that there are different kinds of stress, work stress can be bad, but family stress is in a whole different ball park, so you might find that work stressors are not so bad or diminish if the other stuff can be sorted out.
OK - get good and mad with yourself - that's a positive reaction - now use all that energy constructively! Agreewith CKK - so much of this stuff is in your head (speaking as one who's head regularly gets screwed up but just happens to have hit a good spot at the moment)- so hope the book might give you some insights. And one other thing - smoking increases your metabolism so even if you continue to eat exactly the same as when you smoked you're likely to gain weight until your body re-establishes where it's at. But trust me ( no in fact trust my doctor who told me this) in the big scheme of things what you've done for yourself by stopping smoking is to the power of ten compared with anything else you do for your health.
Cheers
Z
Can I join in? Fuck fuckity fuck!
It's amazing how much our minds "control" the physical capabilities of our bodies. I am learning this in yoga. I've also noticed you haven't mentioned much about your exercise. Calories in, calories out. Are you burning enough? I can eat well but if I don't exercise, I don't lose.
Now stop eating and slap yourself silly! If I lived near you, I'd be marching right on over and taking you for a mega walk, dragging you to the top of a mountain and making you scream so loud you burst a vessel. Do it. Do it now, even if it's only in your head. Do you feel better?
Or better yet, try Kate's trick of jumping around like a Kangaroo until it's out of your system.
xx
Hi Bri,
Not sure what is going on. I have posted 3 messages to you now, and they have not come through. Sorry I am such a blogging dunce, I have absolutely no idea what I have done wrong.
Well bugger me, you have said it all yourself, you know all the bloody answers, and if you don't, read the first three comments! At the end of the day, you are still piss arsing around, you have to do the exercise as well as the diet, or you will do just what you are doing, plateauing, and yo-yoing between those numbers. Get off your arse and do something, move your body! No one is that busy that they can't fit in an hour a day of hard out exercise! AS for stopping smoking, you have done the most fantastic thing for your body... but don't blame that on the weight not shifting.... energy in must be less than energy out to lose weight, END OF STORY. And saying fuck fuck fuck won't do it either! YOU HAVE A NICE DAY NOW ! LOL
Awww now I feel bad! All of the above was said with the utmost love and respect for you.... but you still have to get off your arse!
Well that fucking sucks!!!!
I hear ya - I've put on two kilos and I'm eating healthier than ever so I know your frustrations.
So you're having a tanty, so you ate a little too much after you saw the *number* - now's the time to get on with it and DON'T GIVE UP.
It's at times like this you need to hang on and keep going!
BTW, I hate the period comments too when I'm cranky!
I am in the same boat at the moment...stressed,overworked and basically to tired to give a toss!!
Your question "do I really want this???" has really made me think!!!
Argh, I hate the fuckin' scales too! And I'm with you on the "bloating/period" comments, grr.
You have all the answers right there, take an hour out and go for a walk now! There's some advice I should take myself, argh, fuckity fuck!
I think we're in a similar situation. You know heaps about weight loss, you know what needs to be done but do you it all? No. It's like me. I cut corners and expect the weight to miraculously fall off me after only exercising three times a week. And we all know too well it doesn't work like that. You've really got me thinking about this stuff again.
Hope the scales are kinder to you soon.
You totally forgot the - 'it's muscle not fat' one. I can't get stay under 75 kgs either and I reckon it's cos all the cool and rocking people are over 75 kgs, not to mention pretty and witty and fun and ... need I go on?
"I said pet, I said Love, I said Pet....what the fk are you doing girl........
You are sabotaging yourself....
Dont do it!!!
You are a gorgeous woman inside and out...
We all hit that fkn brick wall.. but you know what... you can and you bloody well will... get over it and get on with the journey....
I am coming to meet you hopefully in the near future..... and I want you to be happy and positive...
You are right.. we have heard it all before.. and we are the only ones that can stop the piss farting about and get with it...
So snap out of it... and get back on that little red wagon... ;o)
Boy if I was a sweare I would join you.... everyone has said it all. Tomorrow is a new day and we will tackle it together.
Bri, no sage words of wisdom here, but I offer quiet support and am sending good vibes your way.
Persistance is key.
**HUGS**
I feel this way about twice a month so boy I know where you are coming from. Losing weight use to be a damn sight easier, I know my metabolism has slowed but I'm doing my damndest to rev it up. Sometimes it just sucks.
But I won't give up. So don't you.
I'm soo with Slim on this one. It's amazing how we don't need anyone else to beat us up, we do it perfectly well for ourselves thanks!
Best to hop on the scales early morning, nude, after a light meal the night before = gaining hope.
Post a Comment