yihar

Today it's four weeks since I gave up smoking.

Go me.

If only it was so easy to give up food.

Edit: Oh and I changed my ticker back. I really need to remember how far i've come.
Now i'm going to create a second mini-goal ticker for myself and that may remind me how far I have to go, but in tiny blocks. Who can't beat a tiny block?

Frustration

I've been frustrated all weekend because I haven't been able to get into Blogger. I think my internet security settings were too high or something??? I could read blogs but not comment, some I couldn't even read and if I clicked on any links in blogs (or on bloglines) my computer would freeze. I'm such a computer no-hoper I don't actually know how I fixed it, or even if it WAS anything I did, but i'm glad I can finally blog.





Motivation has sunk to an all time low, not sure why. I'm still very stressed at home and at work, which isn't good but there may be light at the end of the work tunnel, fingers crossed.





My sunburn has calmed down a fair bit and I think i'm onto peel number 3. I won't show you photos but you would be amazed at how much it has calmed down. Still red though, no tanning for this wee (figure of speech only) scottish lass!! hehe





My eating has been absolute shite this weekend, i've really let myself go. Back on the rails tomorrow, i'm even going to get up and exercise. My goal (which I thought was piss easy) of getting under 75kg by the end of February has been swept well and truly off the horizon. I'm giving myself now til the end of March to get under 75kg and really really i'm going to try this time and stop giving myself excuses.





I've been good today cleaning out the spare room, we had 12 months worth of "papers" in there and I have finally sorted them out. Now I just have to tackle the other 5 rooms and sort out the garage with DH's help. Thank god we don't have a very big house!! We haven't even been here for 12 months yet and i've already collected a heap of crap.





It's DH's birthday on Friday. I have bought him a new wallet. It's what he asked for. I will have to get him something else as well though. I bought him a JAG wallet from Ebay - supposedly BNIB but I guess we'll see when it gets here!





I'm really going to try and beat this lack of sleep thing this week. I have been awake with DS nearly every night this week and the nights he didn't wake up I woke up anyway worrying about work and stressing out to the max. It's really not good for me - it puts my motivation down to the lower levels and turns me into Ms I-dont'-give-a-stuff-about-anything. I don't want to be that person, I don't like her very much.





Oh and I nearly punched someone it the supermarket carpark yesterday but that's a story for another day when i've calmed down about it.





Hope you're all having a good weekend. My little DS had his first group swimming lesson this morning (up til now he's been having private 15 minute sessions). The group lesson goes for 30 mins and I think it must have really worn him out. He slept for nearly 4 hours this afternoon.

Busy busy bee

Work is busy, home is busy, I got to work at 6.30am this morning - i'm so tired. I couldn't sleep last night - went to bed at 11.30pm, woke up at midnight, got back to sleep about 3.30am - DS woke up at 4am and i've been awake ever since. I'm a bit stressed about stuff.
Need to get those positive vibes back.
Hope you've all stopped laughing about my sunburn by now, it's still a bit sore and i'm just waiting for the "lizard" phase. I promise I WON'T take photos of that! hehe

Ouchy

So this is what I get for finally getting off my butt and going for a big long two and a half hour walk. Exercise IS bad for me!!!!!

It was 9 o'clock in the morning for goodness sake. I'm just lucky that DS was in the stroller under shade and this didn't happen to him too!

So much for the pact ......

My weight

I'm glad to say that after yo-yoing up and down for the last week and a half my weight has finally stabilised back at 76.7 today. Thank goodness, I was getting a bit worried there for a while that I was well on my way back to 80 plus kilos although 'Aunty Flo' has been and gone, again so that doesn't help.

I've been so tired with work and everything else that's going on in my life that my eating has slipped and my exercise is typically non-existant.

Hopefully soon things will start to even out at work AND at home and i'll be able to get my head around getting back to normality. Things are never normal here though are they? There's always something going on to stress me out.

I received my DVD copy of "The Secret" in the mail yesterday. DH and I are going to sit down and watch it this weekend some time, probably Saturday night as he's working all weekend and doesn't have a day off until Friday week.

DH went to see a psychic on Monday. Holy guacamole - i'm a bit gob smacked about what she said, if it turns out to be true. More on that later.

It's nearly 10pm and i'm still at work. I'm here on my own and it's a bit spooky. I'm thinking seriously about leaving soon as there is a car trawling the street outside and it's freaking me out. They can obviously see that mine is the only car around and this building is lit up like Blackpool on a cold and dark winter's afternoon.

I still have heaps to do but i'm also tired and a bit over it. Work is really busy right now and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. One girl resigned and left last week, another girl is going on two week's leave as of Monday. That means there are two of us and a new girl doing the work of 4 competent people.

Anyhoo, i'm sure it will all be better eventually. Good things come to those who wait and i've been waiting a mightly long time now so good things are just around the corner, and no i'm not talking about a Goldmark store!! hehe

Speaking of jewellery .... DH and I decided NOT to do anything for Valentine's day this year. It's such a bullshit commercial "holiday" made up by retailers to sell more crap and we're not succumbing. Well i'm not - I still kind of hope he is even though we made a pact not to.

OK so i'm off on the trip home shortly, either that or maybe I should just bring a campbed to work and live here for the next month or so. At least I would get to blog more regularly!!

Nighty night blogland zzzzzzer's.

Help

Does anyone know why I can edit my blog template on the computer at work but not on my home one? I don't get the little spanner thing when i'm at home. I can post (obviously) but that's it.

Can anyone help me??

Not much to report. Went out last night, found out some pretty huge gossip. Had a few drinks. Still haven't had a cigarette but I really felt like one last night, probably because of the champagne - god I love that stuff! It will be two weeks on Monday since I had a ciggie so i'm getting there. I'm still using the patches and probably will for another couple of weeks at least.
Will probably go into work tomorrow morning to try and catch up before the new girl starts on Monday. Just being lazy around the house today.
...and that's about it.

Stats and new exercise gear

This is my new exercise gear. I'm a bit embarrassed posting these photos cos I didn't buy top and bottom which match, I just got the cheapest ones!! hehe. I spilt spaghetti sauce on my shirt when I was cooking last night too, hope you can't see it. Oops!!
I'm also using these photos for Beckie's Bloggest Loser Challenge. This is as close as you'll get to seeing me in my underwear right now!! hehe
Oh I look sweaty cos I'd just finished on the exercise bike. Yay me.

Actually to tell you the truth I thought I would look fatter in this gear, I feel fatter, I look fatter than this in the mirror, but it doesn't matter, i'm not going to be this weight for long.

Here are my bike stats for day one:

Time: 15 minutes

Distance: 7.5 km

Calories burnt: 170

Sprints: 2 x 20 seconds, 1 x 60 seconds

Yihar, i'm on fire - well you know, it was good for a first attempt. Have a great day!

Recap of my goals for 2007

This is mostly a reminder to myself cos I figure I need a shake up every now and again.

Goal # 1: Get under 75 kilos by the end of February

I've left my run a bit late, but i'm going to do this, I am - nurr!! Last week didn't help. I sort of gave myself free reign for a couple of days there, but I was stressed and tired and not smoking (one week today since I stopped).

Goal # 2: Get under 70 kilos by the end of July

That's 5 months to lose 5 kilos. I can do that easily if I keep on top of this. I can't wait for the day that I get on the scales and there's a number beginning with a "6" - woot!! I'll be on top of the world that day. Although I will probably wear the scales out by hopping on and off them a hundred million times. No-one will be able to wipe the smile of my skinny little face!! hehe - So I had best keep this in mind over the Easter break!

That's all, back to the pickle factory for now.

Biggest Loser

Normally I love this show, but last night I just got annoyed. What's with Sarah? She was just painful.
Looks like there's a lot of controversy this year though, i'm looking forward to seeing what happens!
What are your thoughts?

I'm ready

The fruit bowl is overflowing.
The vegetable crisper is as full as the last bus on a Saturday night, and ...
the exercise bike is in situ out the back, ready for 6am.

Now i'm just going to lay out my new exercise gear I bought today and find my iPod and i'm sorted.

Go me .....

Nighty night!!

A true lightbulb moment.

Sometimes we know things, deep down inside but we ignore them or we don't have the faith in ourselves to truly believe and then one day we get a reminder, sometimes its a small reminder and not enough to change us, just a gentle reminder. Other times it comes as such a huge slap in the face you can't ignore it, there is no second guessing - you know you've just been given a sign.

Last night I had a life changing moment. Bear with me, i'm getting to the point ...

I have always believed in positive thinking, in believing in myself and knowing that I can get anything I want. I guess over the last few years a lot of things have happened to me that have suppressed my inner self, I stopped having faith in my inner self and I started doubting everything, my intelligence, my sense of self, my self worth. When you become a parent the last person you look after is yourself.

First of all you have to look after this gorgeous helpless little human being that you've created. You feel a love you've never felt before in your entire life and you succumb to this love and give your all, to someone else. Apart from that you have to look after your husband who is now second - whether he likes it or not - and he knows it - and he's pissed off about it, but you don't care! You don't really have time to look after him, let alone yourself.

Last night I started watching The Secret. Did you see it? If you didn't - go out and get yourself a copy. It's amazing and was my 'slap in the face'. I can't ignore this. I knew all of these things already I had just forgotten that I need to have faith in myself, visualise what I want, and truly believe it and it WILL happen.

I feel like a different person today. I have my positive attitude back. I KNOW in my heart that I can do anything and that nothing bad is ever going to happen to me again. I have control and i'm going to use it.

Watch this space, great things are about to happen.

Another week over.

I was so over everything last night, I lay down at 6.30pm when DH got home from work cos I had a huge headache. I slept til about 8pm, got up and had dinner and then went back to bed. I feel much better today. The stress at work coupled with the effects of giving up smoking have just drained me. Plus maybe all the crap i've been eating doesn't help.

Back on track soon, just need to do a proper shop (tomorrow) and plan the meals for the week.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Still hanging in there.

It's Friday, thank goodness! This has been a long week and I had Monday off!! I have to do two interviews today for a replacement for the girl who is leaving. The person we hire won't be doing the same job, I have to take that on because it's a very difficult position and it wouldn't be fair to chuck someone in to that position straight away.

It's going to be fairly unpleasant for at least the next three months while we train up the new person, once we eventually get someone that is. We put an ad in last Saturday's paper and didn't get many responses, so we've put it in again for tomorrow and next Wednesday. Fingers crossed we get a few more responses and I can find someone suitable.

Not smoking is going pretty well. I really felt like a cigarette yesterday. It was very busy at work and i'm a bit stressed right now. I worked back until 8.30pm last night as we are just so busy and I need to get heaps of stuff done before next Wednesday which is the last day for the girl who is leaving. I'm not looking forward to it.

So, today is day 4 of not smoking. I've been taking the nicotine patch off at night and the dreams are still happening but they're not quite so vivid. I've also felt like smoking more so maybe next time I buy them i'll get the 16 hour ones, they might make a difference?

Foodwise, i'm not doing very well, but i'm not worrying about it until next week. Once I have stopped smoking for a week i'll get back to planning meals and snacks. It doesn't help that we haven't done any groceries this week. Big mistake!! I'm still taking point friendly snacks to work, but it didn't help that one of the guys at work brought Tim Tams in and they were the double coated ones too!! Yummo. I only had two, so it could have been much worse.

I will definitely get back to better eating once we've shopped and i'm a bit more organised.