My progress

Monday, July 16, 2007

Update

I went to the doctor today. I made the appointment a few weeks ago as I needed to get a referral to my Ob/Gyn. Obviously I don't need that since the miscarriage but I wanted to go and see the doc and make sure everything is ok. She sent me for a blood test to get the HCG level measured and make sure it was going down. If the bleeding doesn't slow down soon or I get any worse pain then I need to go and have an ultrasound, but we're leaving that for now.

I get the results of the blood test tomorrow.

The lady who did my blood test was very obviously pregnant and it made me cry all over again. There are pregnant women everywhere I look. I know it's not any of their fault, but it still makes me sad. I'm sure that's difficult for people who haven't miscarried to understand. The hurt lasts for a long time.

Anyhoo, I took Kathryn's advice and went and partook (is that a word?? hehe) in some retail therapy. Mostly I bought stuff for the "small and very cute one" but I got myself a red fleecy jacket cos i've been freezing my arse off cos I only have a navy blue fleecy with a hood and it's not always appropriate to wear navy (ie - with black - navy and black are a 'no-go' zone - same as denim and denim). Yes, I'm a representative of the Fashion Police incase anyone was wondering. There's nothing I enjoy more than going to a shopping centre, sitting down with a large skinny cap and checking out the public and what they're wearing for a lazy 30 mins or so.

dh and I were supposed to go and see the next Harry Potter movie today, but he disappointed me once again (that's been happening a lot in the last few days - long story), so I guess I might go and see it on my own tomorrow. He has his first session of counselling tomorrow on his own and then we have an appointment together on Thursday.

The pregnancy changed how I was thinking about our relationship but now that i've lost the baby i've really gone back to how I was thinking before, especially since dh is continually proving that I can't count on him for support and that poor little DS can't count on him either.

Anyway, i'm trying to keep an open mind until after the joint counselling on Thursday, until then I have plenty of housework to keep me busy.

4 comments:

Chris H said...

Hope all is well 'downstairs' mate.... retail therapy is a great (no, fantastic) pick me up too! I do it a lot! Hope you enjoy the movie, I want to go too! Shame I can't go with you, we'd have a blast! Hope the counselling helps you sort out your feelings and moves you in the right direction for YOU and him. Though I think now that you have lost your precious bub I think you do know where you want to go eh? Thinking of you every day Briony. *HUGS*

Kathryn said...

I'm so with you on the navy and black thing... or brown and black. Even worse, i bought a leather jacket at target this week and they had them in navy. Navy leather is just plain wrong.

Hope the counselling and doctor both go well.

Zanna said...

Sorry Bri - I'm a bit behind with my commenting. Did you get the email I sent the other day? To answer your earlier post on making decisions
Yes I make lists, and I do PMI's (a hang over from my boys' schooling) Plus's, Minuses and Interests. I discuss and ask advice from friends but not usually family - they are to close and feel they have too much buy in.
But my glass is ALWAYS half full and I do have more than one person who I consult but I certainly wouldn't classify them as many.
Babe. just work it through one step at a time - be angry when you need to be and relax and be gentle with yourself whenever you get the opportunity.
Take care
Z xx

abc said...

Crap my day was so insane I forgot to email you. Hey anyway, I wear black pants with a navy blue jacket. And I think it looks good. Do I need to be fined?
Sorry DH is disappointing you. Men are so F***g stupid sometimes!! Its unbelievable! He should be fighting for his family and a fulltime role as a father. Good for you for keeping an open mind though. You really are terrific. I have not seen the Harry Potter movie. I have a free double pass to Gold Class we might use for that. I have never been before.