I guess blogging this isn't really the way I want to tell people but for now it's all I can bring myself to do.

I lost my baby last night. Words can't even express how sad i'm feeling right now and 'very sad' sure doesn't cut it.

I know this means that it wasn't meant to be and that it's for the best, believe me, us people who have had miscarriages before know all the lines, but I can't for the life of me work out why - after everything i've been through this year - fate or mother nature or "god" for those of you who believe in that being - would give me such a fantastic gift and then in a few short weeks, or what actually seems like the blink of an eye - take it away and leave me sadder and feeling more alone in this world than I have ever felt.

I know it was only early days and i'm certainly not trying to detract from anyone who has had or is currently going through any other form of miscarriage or still birth or loss of a child. All children are important in this world and each equally so. But this is my blog and this is about me, so i'm sharing how i'm feeling right now.

I can't think, I can't look to the future, I am numb. Today I can only grieve and try to block out all the nasty stuff that's happening in my life right now.